If you went to a Nigerian Boarding School, you can probably relate with a lot of the factual accounts we post on here. This one comes from someone I went to high school with, and it tells the sad, sad tale of life in the male boarding house. Trust me, things weren’t this extreme with us girls (at least in my personal experience). Names have been changed to protect people’s privacy! But if you like, go ahead and guess who we might be referring to lol. Here it goes:
“So many senior stories… The first one is about someone that I’m going to call Daxs. When we (junior students at that time) piss Dax off, he just brings out his belt , flogs you and demands you scream/sing: “I’m loving it” at the top of your voice. I think Daxs got it from the mcdonalds adverts”.
LMAO. That “I’m loving it” part killed me. Anyway, his story continues:
“Once upon a time, at the exclusive Topaz house dining table, I was asked by a certain senior, let’s call him Teeee.P, to run an errand (can’t remember what it was, possibly to get extra bread or something). Without thinking, I immediately obeyed, I mean you do not want to mess with an SS3 student when you are in JS2. Anyway, on my way to get the bread oh, the late Mr Nwigwe (may his soul R.I.P) asked me to go and sit down, so I did. I mean a teacher is higher than a student right? So I thought to myself when Teeee.P asks me for his stuff, I’ll just tell him “a teacher told me to sit down”. I thought wrong, Teeee.P grabbed me while I was leaving and spoke these words to me , after I explained what had happened: “think about things boy, I can beat you up while the teacher won’t, so obey me!”. I left that day confused!”
Okay these seniors are just something else. Think about things boy? Lmao. I feel like if someone said that to me, I would just burst out laughing in their face. At my own peril, of course.
“Random funny moment, SS3’s got the freshers (Js1 boys) to hold each other’s waists and dance to slow music. I almost died.
The guy I’m talking about now is a legend. This scene happened in the same Topaz dining hall. It was a Jollof rice evening, meaning everyone was happy and ready to devour all the meat, rice and coleslaw. Girls didn’t front for boys on those J.rice evenings (I wish I could mention names). There were about 20 pieces of meat served on each table of 10 people. On this certain day, every single piece of meat was spoilt, I could even tell by the smell that was coming from the bowl. I was very disappointed after rushing to get there early so that I could say “after you” to some grubber who managed to get the before me…”
Saying “I’m after you” was standard protocol for everything in our high school. If an item could be passed around, someone was ALWAYS lining up after somebody else to use it. Popular items that you could be “after” somebody for include but are not limited to: food, showers, pens, high tea basket, girls. The story continues:
“…every other person on my table except for this one senior, refused to touch the meat. This great senior, with the gut of a pig, ate almost all the pieces of meat. After he had eaten about 8 pieces, the school’s caterer came in to inform of us that the meat was spoilt and that no one should eat the meat. The senior didn’t care because by this time, he had eaten about 16 pieces. By the time I got back to the boarding house, all the toilets were full, people were busy all night. I wonder what kind of diarrhea that senior had that night. And that’s all I have for now!
Signed: Anonymous (but you can call me scooby).
Haha, well Scooby, thank you for giving us some insight into what your high school experience was like.
If you would like to contribute a story to the NBS series, drop a comment below and we’ll be in touch.
Ciao
-Tiwa.